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Sample: "My Summer Romcom Cruise" by Derk Bramer

MEET CUTE, BAD BOY

REVIEW:
The following scene depicts Tilda, the main character. Tilda is a twenty-something woman who went on a cruise looking to find herself but found herself surrounded by attractive people looking to find love. On a day trip to Greece, she runs into a tall, dark, and handsome stranger named Leon (one of several love interests).

VISUAL NOVEL SCENE
by Derk Bramer

Event: You step off the tour bus and begin to explore, moving along the rocks, boulders, and debris that cover the hill…

Event: All of a sudden, a craggy outcropping gives way and crumbles beneath your feet, throwing you off-balance as you topple toward the ground!

Tilda [SURPRISED]: <jiggle>Aaah!</jiggle>

Event: Your fall is broken by a pair of powerful arms that sweeps you off your feet.

Leon: I got you.

Tilda [SURPRISED]: Wow, you saved me!

Leon: You okay, miss?

Tilda [SAD]: Yeah, I'm fine... To be honest, I'm mostly just embarrassed.

Leon [HAPPY]: Don't be. Beautiful ladies have been tripping in these ruins since the fifth century BC... and somehow, they always get swept into the arms of a handsome stranger.

Tilda [HAPPY]: Well that puts things into historical perspective. Thank you, uh...

Leon: Call me Leon.

Tilda: I'm {Tilda}.

Leon: Pleasure to meet you. But don't thank me just yet...

Leon [HAPPY]: I'm tempted to drop you, just so I can catch you all over again.

Kate [ANGRY]: Don't even think about it.

Leon: Just pulling your leg... or carrying it, in this case.

Event: Only when your hand brushes against the muscles bulging beneath Leon's leather jacket do you remember that he's been holding you in his arms this entire time.

Tilda [SURPRISED]: ...On that note, would you mind letting me down? <i>Gently,</i> please?

Leon [HAPPY]: You got it, {Tilda}.

Event: Leon sets you back on the ground. Now that you're standing next to him, you realize how tall he is.

Leon [HAPPY]: Now then, is there anything else in your life that needs saving?

Tilda: You can save...

 

CHOICE #1 WITH TWO OPTIONS

OPTION 1: Your cheesy pick-up lines!

OPTION 2: My number in your phone.

 

IF YOU CHOSE OPTION 1:

Leon [SURPRISED]: Ouch. Not doing it for you?

Tilda [HAPPY]: You'll have to try a little harder than <i>that.</i>

Leon [HAPPY]: Good. It's more fun if I need to work for it. Can I get a mulligan?

Tilda: Hmm... All right, I'll give you one more shot.

Leon: Then let's take it from the top. Hi {Tilda}, I'm Leon. What brings you to the historic city of Athens?

Tilda: Well, my family and I are on a cruise, and I've always wanted to see the Acropolis, so... here I am.

Leon [HAPPY]: Here you are. It must be my lucky day. So let's make the most of it, shall we?

Tilda [SURPRISED]: And how do you propose we do that?

Leon: By letting me take you out. I'll show you a side of Athens you'd <i>never</i> get to see on a guided tour.

Tilda [SURPRISED]: I don't know if that's a good idea. I need to be back on the ship by sunset, and I don't even know you...

Leon [HAPPY]: Something tells me you're the 'better safe than sorry' type. Mind your manners, follow the rules, don't kiss before the third date, all that good girl stuff?

Tilda [ANGRY]: Hey, I've got a wild side to me! I can cut loose if I want to, and I'll prove it!

Leon: Oh really. How?

Event: You realize a moment too late that you didn't actually have an answer in mind, and blurt out the first thing that comes to you.

Tilda [HAPPY]: ...By taking <i>you</i> out on a date!

 

IF YOU CHOSE OPTION 2:

Leon [HAPPY]: It must be my lucky day. Thanks.

Event: You enter your digits in Leon's phone.

Leon [SURPRISED]: Uh, this area code long distance. Long, <i>long</i> distance.

Tilda [SURPRISED]: Oh, I... I hadn't thought of that. I'm on a cruise with my family, so I'm only here for the day.

Leon [HAPPY]: That's all right, it just means we'd better make our time together count.

Tilda [SAD]: I'd love to, but I'm supposed to be back on the boat by sunset, and honestly, I don't know you all that well yet...

Leon: Something tells me you're the 'law-abiding citizen' type. Drink your milk, stay in school, don't do drugs, all that goodie goodie stuff?

Tilda [ANGRY]: Hey, I've got a wild side to me! I can cut loose if I want to, and I'll prove it!

Leon: Oh really. How?

Event: You realize a moment too late that you didn't actually have an answer in mind, and blurt out the first thing that comes to you.

Tilda [HAPPY]: By breaking into the restricted area!

 

THE CHOICE PATHS REJOIN HERE TO CONTINUE THE STORY

Leon [SURPRISED]: Ooh, I like where this is going. But if we're going to do this, let's do it right. Wait here.

Event: Leon dashes off and stops next to a motorcycle. He throws open a storage compartment, hoists something out, and walks back to you.

Tilda [SURPRISED]: Is that a picnic basket? Why do you just happen to have one?

Leon [HAPPY]: I like to come here to get away from it all. There are lots of nooks and crannies far from the tourists, if you know where to look.

Tilda [HAPPY]: Actually, that makes perfect sense. I can't imagine a sweeter escape.

Event: Leon takes you away from the crowd to a stairway that's been blocked off by a rope and a sign.

Tilda [SURPRISED]: That sign says 'No Entry' pretty clearly. I'm having second thoughts... What if we get caught?

Leon: We won't. As funding for the Acropolis Restoration Project dried up over the years, the money to pay security guards ran out with it.

Leon: All they've got left are security cameras, but they can't even afford film for them.

Leon [HAPPY]: The only real danger is getting down the broken stairs. <i>Especially</i> if you've got a history of tripping over rocks.

Tilda [HAPPY]: Then I'm glad you're here to catch me if I fall. After you.

Event: Together, you wind your way down the rows of crumbling seats to the quiet grandeur of an ancient stage.

Tilda [HAPPY]: Incredible...

Event: Leon takes a worn throw blanket out of the basket and lays it down before unpacking and uncorking a bottle. He pours two glasses of deep-hued wine into plastic cups.

Leon [HAPPY]: Let's toast. I'll let you decide over what.

Tilda [HAPPY]: (I should...)

 

CHOICE #2 WITH TWO OPTIONS

OPTION 1: Toast to new beginnings.

OPTION 2: Toast to leaving the past behind.

 

IF YOU CHOSE OPTION 1:

Leon [HAPPY]: To new beginnings, then. Cheers!

Tilda [HAPPY]: Cheers.

Event: You clink glasses and take a drink of the rich, aromatic wine.

Tilda [HAPPY]: Delicious.

Leon [HAPPY]: There's nothing in this world quite like great wine in gorgeous company.

Tilda [HAPPY]: I'll drink to that.

Event: You finish your wine as Leon moves closer to you.

Leon: So tell me. What did you mean by 'new beginnings'?

Tilda [SURPRISED]: Oh, that was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing. See, I only just got back into the dating pool after, well, a <i>really</i> long time.

Leon: You may find it hard to believe, but I’m actually in the same boat as you.

Tilda [HAPPY]: Based on how dated your pickup lines were earlier, I believe it.

Leon [SURPRISED]: Touche. Well pardon my dust as I remember how to flirt.

 

IF YOU CHOSE OPTION 2:

Leon [HAPPY]: To leaving the past behind, then. Cheers!

Tilda [HAPPY]: Cheers.

Event: You clink glasses and sip at the rich, aromatic wine.

Tilda [HAPPY]: Exquisite.

Leon [HAPPY]: There's nothing in this world quite like fine wine in beautiful company.

Tilda [HAPPY]: I'll drink to that.

Event: You finish your wine as Leon moves closer to you.

Leon: So tell me. What did you mean by 'leaving the past behind'?

Tilda [SURPRISED]: Oh, that was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing. See, I just left a long-term relationship, and the breakup is going <i>bad.</i>

Leon: I see. Some people take everything for granted until it’s all snatched away from them.

Leon [SAD]: But once you lose something, it’s gone... I should know; I lost my first love before I even realized we were drifting apart.

 

THE CHOICE PATHS REJOIN HERE TO CONTINUE THE STORY

Tilda: Speaking of which, I’d like to know where we both stand before we take this any further. My ex cheated on me, so I’d rather not go through all <i>that</i> again.

Leon: I wish I could say my ex is gone because I'm a no-good heartbreaker, or that she had a few pillars loose in her Parthenon...

Leon [SAD]: But the cold, hard truth is that our relationship eroded over time.

Tilda [SURPRISED]: Just like these ruins...

Leon: Exactly. Specialists have spent countless hours and a small fortune trying to restore the Acropolis, yet it's still falling apart.

Leon: So if the city of Athens couldn't turn back the clock, what chance did a couple of couple of stupid kids have?

Tilda [SAD]: Oh, Leon. That's heartbreaking...

Leon: That's life. I've spent enough time trying to fix what couldn't be unbroken.

Leon: Losing her taught me to live my life in the moment, as if each day were my last.

Tilda [SURPRISE]: Believe me, I know. But time can also heal, too.

Tilda: All we can do is pick up the pieces and build something new from what’s left.

Leon: {Tilda}, that’s beautiful...

Event: You lock eyes and lean in, as if about to kiss--until Leon’s eyes go wide and he reaches into his pocket.

Leon [HAPPY]: That reminds me. I’ve been keeping a memento...

Event: Out of his leather jacket, Leon presents the very rock you tripped over earlier.

Tilda [SURPRISED]: Leon, you're not supposed to take anything! You could get us in <i>serious</i> trouble.

Leon: Don’t worry so much... Besides, I have to have <i>something</i> to remember you by after you get back on a bus and I never see you again.

Leon [HAPPY]: Just think of it as buying a souvenir... with a five-finger discount.

Tilda [HAPPY]: <jiggle><i>Leon!</i></jiggle>

Event: You both start laughing so hard that you eventually fall into each other’s arms. You don’t know how this date is going to end, but one thing is for certain:

Event: You’re going to cherish every moment with Leon you can get.