THE SONG OF CAPTAIN SCRATCH
From elder tom to wee kitten,
Come lend me half an ear.
Go gather all your catfolk kin
My tale to better hear.
I’ll spin a yarn to curl your tail
Of heroes with no match.
So listen close as I regale
The Song of Captain Scratch.
In darker times, when shadows came
A-creeping from Larthun,
There lived a cat of rising fame
Who made the ladies swoon,
Until the day a wealthy gnome
Did pay a handsome fee
To seek a treasure far from home:
The Magi’s legacy.
Alas! The Captain soon was blamed
For Zipfizzle’s demise.
But ere the party could be framed
They fled into the skies.
The Zippy, ‘neath a darkling storm
To wealth and glory flew.
Thus did the first Marauders form
Their legendary crew.
A silver rapier in hand,
A pistol in the next,
Scratch dodged the lawmen of the land
And left the knights perplexed.
For after besting Sir Mordyr
With half the world destroyed,
The Captain ousted old Euthmyr
And tossed him to the Void.
Then when his fate was held in doubt
Against the Master Lich,
He slapped the Wicked King about
And threw him in a ditch.
The Captain left his legacy
To cats like me and you,
And gave an oath of piracy
Above the oceans blue:
“A pirate drinks no potions ‘cause
We never quaff on swill.
Instead we swear upon our paws
To seek the latest thrill.
“An’ if for slaughter o’er the water
Feel ye naught but scorn,
Then for the life of a Marauder
You were never born.
“So if your fortune now to make
You wish our paths to join,
Then sign the dotted line and take
The Way of Claw and Coin.”